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HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE KEVIN SMITH TO FINISH HIS COMICS?

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January 8th, 2006


11:28 pm
"Word has come in through multiple sources that Devil’s Due Publishing has landed the rights to put out Family Guy comic books in 2006, possibly as soon as April. A few comic insiders have expressed shock at the news and openly questioned why DDP would pursue Family Guy in the first place, as comparable licensed comics (like The Simpsons) have failed to make much of a dent in the direct market. However, upon examination, the answer seems obvious: bookstores. Bongo’s Simpsons comics are widely available in bookstores nationwide, both as trade paperbacks and actual comics. Additionally, they share shelf space in the humor section alongside collections of comic strips like The Boondocks and The Far Side. If DDP can achieve similar bookstore penetration, then odds are they’ll have a hit. Keep in mind, Family Guy is still riding the surge of popularity that resurrected the show in the first place…"

SOMEONE GET FRANK MILLZ ON THE PHONE~!!!!!


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January 2nd, 2006


09:11 pm - The Best Of
Andy: "Also: "show-runned"

You really could have read-stopped right there."

"Hey, Larry,
Call me the Assman if you must.
Ain't it Awesomer
If the novel was a giant piece of shit, I would recommend flushing it down the toilet, and masturbating all over the seat."

mysterymillar: Did you read Punisher The Cell?
RobotSquidd: Not yet
mysterymillar: I thought it was going to be about a cell phone.
mysterymillar: "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, DEAD FAMILY"
RobotSquidd: HAHAHAHAHAHA
mysterymillar: He digs up their grave and gives them phones with 1000 anytime minutes!
RobotSquidd: YES
mysterymillar: BUT SOMETHING HAPPENS WITH THE VILLAINOUS JIGSAW AND SAMBO PUNISHER STEAL THE PHONES!
RobotSquidd: SAMBO PUNISHER
mysterymillar: I WANTS ME SOME WHITE WOMEN, MISTAH JIGSAW

Anthy Boneclay: "I love you. In a purely homosexual way."

"And you're Clark Kent because you have no backbone, sez Lois Lane while she's faking her own death to fool you, Jimmy, Robin and Orson Welles!"

In an upcoming episode of Family Guy, Chris falls in love with his teacher [Drew Barrymore].

Man. I hope Drew Barrymore uses a pseudonym like Jone Krakwhore and Chris receives a slip of paper that states, "You ARE Chris Griffin. Hey, remember when Mr. T flew a screaming bus into the sun?".

MysteryMillar: Gorillaz has a new CD out in Smarch.
RobotSquidd: Nice
MysteryMillar: I hope it's called "Gorillaz Grodd"
Cromulent1: Lousy Smarch weather, I probably won't be able to get to the Interweb for buying
RobotSquidd: MAN
Cromulent1: YES
RobotSquidd: WITH GRODD EATING THE BAND MEMBERS ON COVER
MysteryMillar: LIVE ALBUM: GORILLAZ LIVE IN APE CITY
RobotSquidd: WOW
Cromulent1: GORILLAZ GO TO SUMMER CAMP
MysteryMillar: CHRISTMAS GORILLAZ GO TO SUMMER CAMP
RobotSquidd: YES
RobotSquidd: Is Christmas/Summer album
Cromulent1: Double disc!
RobotSquidd: Yes!

MysteryMillar: MARVEL KNIGHTS PUNISHER WAS TOO WACKY
Cromulent1: TOO WACKY
Cromulent1: MAX PUNISHER TOO SERIOUS
Cromulent1: GET IT RIGHT ENNIS
RobotSquidd: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
MysteryMillar: Man, Frank doesn't even GO to Vietnam anymore...
MysteryMillar: And what's with killing Microchip? JERKASS PUNISHER!
MysteryMillar: And all these issues about Frank and Maria's marriage is pissing me off!
RobotSquidd: It's always on the skids!
MysteryMillar: Like that time Punisher almost had an affair with the country singer/vigilante, Tawny Gunwound!
Cromulent1: PUNISHER WAS BETTER WHEN CONAN WROTE IT
MysteryMillar: THE LITERARY CHARACTER
MysteryMillar: "HRN. CONAN CARES NOT FOR THESE IN-HOUSE ADS!"
RobotSquidd: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
RobotSquidd: HRN
MysteryMillar: Axel Alonso is too afraid to criticize him when he sees Conan eating a live chicken farmer.



THAT IS THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

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October 20th, 2005


07:41 am
Someone on the Colbert Report - "I thought the first episode was funny, but I don't watch The Daily Show for comedy, I watch it for a snarky take on the news. Colbert's still doing a character, so it's more of a sitcom than a entertaining news program."

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September 7th, 2005


07:51 pm
Kanye West said that President Bush doesn't care about black people. I think that's incorrect. I think it's been proven that President Bush does not care about anyone, no matter what race they are.

The President: truly colorblind.

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June 16th, 2005


09:21 am
Grant Morrison is confirmed on Detective Comics and Mark Hamill is on the short list to play Joker in 'Batman Begins Again'. If there was ever a time for a sexy time explosion, this would be it.

New blog entry to my comics blog, Pretentious Dickwicker.

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June 10th, 2005


06:55 pm
"The episodes where Matt Groening, Sam Simon and Jim Brooks show-runned and Klasky-Csupo animated were the best by far IMHO. I agree with a lot of bigshot, Matt Wilson and Nick's opinions on the show's downfall. The early eps. mixed character development, interesting storylines, beautiful art, and side-splitting humor perfectlly. Season 4 wasn't total crap, but the show was starting to get dark (Quimby saying he had his enemies murdered) and surreal. David Samuel "X." Cohen, Ken Keeler made the show a bit better, and I'll even cut Mike Scully some slack (Mike Scully wrote "Lisa on Ice", which had an ending that I found heart-warming even as a kid), but the newer writers (starting with Ian Maxtone-Graham) are pretty bad. They can write episodes that are interesting, attempt character development and have the characters in character; but aren't funny usually. The episodes they write that ARE funny are often plauged by surreal and unrealistic gags and JerkAss Homer. Some episodes are classics ("Diabrete of a Mad Housewife" and "The Way we Weren't" ), but most are bad. Season 16 was mostly weak and anemic, I only thought most of the eps. were solid because they kept the characters in character, not because they had any humor."

Comedy is not heartwarming.

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June 1st, 2005


02:08 pm - No caption needed
It's imaging time!Collapse )

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May 31st, 2005


12:12 am - Ain't it Devastating News
So, I was drinking some cunninglingus from the local Thai food restaurant, and I see the new Fantastic Four novelization. So I jizz all over it and then eat it. Anth here brings me the summary of this novelization. I didn't want to sacrifice my spermy brethren to the cold clutches of Tim Story anymore.

"Hey, Larry,
Call me the Assman if you must.
Ain't it Awesomer
If the novel was a giant piece of shit, I would recommend flushing it down the toilet, and masturbating all over the seat."

Seriously. This movie looks horrible.

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May 30th, 2005


08:47 am
Millzworld!

It's like someone literally shit out a website design. I nominate it for 'worst website design ever'.

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May 11th, 2005


07:14 pm
Fagendorfer molests children. I don't.

Vote me for Prom King.

mysterymillar: Say anything!
mysterymillar: Rerun lines from previous episodes!
RobotSquidd: Spay anything!
mysterymillar: Do one about your love life!
mysterymillar: Or when you threw Andy's copy of Bridges of Madison County into the fireplace!
RobotSquidd: Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

mysterymillar: Did you read Punisher The Cell?
RobotSquidd: Not yet
mysterymillar: I thought it was going to be about a cell phone.
mysterymillar: "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, DEAD FAMILY"
RobotSquidd: HAHAHAHAHAHA
mysterymillar: He digs up their grave and gives them phones with 1000 anytime minutes!
RobotSquidd: YES
mysterymillar: BUT SOMETHING HAPPENS WITH THE VILLAINOUS JIGSAW AND SAMBO PUNISHER STEAL THE PHONES!
RobotSquidd: SAMBO PUNISHER
mysterymillar: I WANTS ME SOME WHITE WOMEN, MISTAH JIGSAW

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

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